The original Vagineer.
Vagineer Origin Theory #5
-created by Black Ace and Scampi The newest theory is a long one and provides details into how they came to be and some of their abilities. So sit back and relax.
Back when the BLU Engineer was first creating the now well known and used Tleporter, an incident occured that created the well known monster today. Having designed and built his Teleporter, the BLU Engineer needed a test subject, as testing the Teleporter on himself could be dangerous. The BLU team had captured a RED Engineer who was spying on the BLU Engineer for his building secrets. The BLU team, wanting have some fun before they killed the RED Engineer, tied him up and began to torture him. Pyro, not wanting the BLU Engineer to miss out on the fun, invited him to come taunt and torture the RED Engineer with the others. The BLU Engineer saw the RED Engineer not as a means of entertainment, but instead a perfect test subject for his Teleporter. Convincing his team, the RED Engineer is lead down to the Teleporters and forced to stand on top of one. The BLU team gathered round to see BLU Engineer's crazy new invention in action. The BLU Engineer started up the teleporter and after a few clicks and whirls the RED Engineer disappeared. The BLU team is amazed at the success of BLU Engineers invention. Everyone begins to watch the Teleporter exit. After roughly 3 minutes nothing happens. The team begins to lose faith in their Engineer and begin to insult his intelligence. Engineer was about to defend his machines' failure when suddenly a large crackling sound pierces the air, causing the BLU teams ears to bleed. On top the exit was the RED Engineer. He fell to the ground and slowly huddled himself into the fetal position. He was shaking back and fourth, crying softly. His body seemed to be slightly burned and charred. The BLU team was shocked. What happened to him? Everyone looks toward the BLU Engineer for answers but he was unable to come up with one. Soldier starts laughing manically. He goes over to the already defeated RED Engineer and kicked him hard, making himself laugh even harder. He then looked up at his team and suggested that they should give him back to the RED team as some sort of sick joke. He grabed the RED Engineer and threw him onto his back. As he carried him away, the BLU team could hear the soft deranged muttering of the RED Engineer. All they could make out is "not going back..." and "those things" along with "eat me, eat me all..."
The RED team had been searching all day for there dear friend Engineer, who disappeared when going on a strange solo mission that he refused to tell anyone about. Pyro, the Engineer's best friend, had gone off an a quest to find his friend. The RED team, having given up for the day tired and defeated, sat down and began to discuss the events that happened. The Medic then suddenly broke down crying that they will never see the Engineer again. Suddenly the door at the back of the room was kicked in.The BLU Soldier strolled in calmly having a RED Engineer draped over his shoulder. The RED team grabbed their guns and pointed them at the Soldier. "Ladies" he says, "Here's your lost puppy". The Soldier then threw the RED Engineer at the RED team. The RED Engineer hit the ground with snap, his arm bent at an odd angle. The Soldier smiled before calmly walking out. The RED team forgot the BLU Soldier and rushed to the RED Engineer's side. He was unconscious and was slightly charred. His arm appeared to be broken. They handed him over to the Medic to fix him up. After a couple of hours, the RED Engineer was stable and conscious, but he refused to speak with anyone. The team, figuring he's still in shock, left him to rest for the night. The next morning at the crack of dawn, the RED Pyro returned from his quest to find his friend. He walked into the base with a heavy heart,to tell everyone he had no success. He saw Sniper sitting down drinking his morning "coffee" and reading the paper. Without looking up the Sniper said "He's in the infirmary mate". The Pyro immediately rushed over to the infirmary to find his long lost friend sleeping safely. He was very relieved to see him and sat down by the Engineer's bed, waiting for him to wake. After several hours the Engineer woke up. Pyro immediately began to try and talk with the Engineer, to no avail. Pyro, not understanding why he won't talk, thought that Engineer hated him, possibly for not finding him in time. Pyro felt very bad and got up and began to walk away; he realized his only friend now hated him. But before he left, he gaves the Engineer a hat he found while looking for him- the Mining Light. Pyro after leaves the infirmary and rushes to his room crying. Sniper saw this and walked into the infirmary to see what Engineer did. As he entered, he saw Engineer staring at his Mining Light blankly. He called out for Medic to show him the odd occurrence. When the Medic arrived, he did some simple tests and wrote it it off as shell shock. Sniper than explained that he saw Pyro running out of the infirmary crying and that he may not know that his friend was sick. So Sniper and Medic headed up to Pyro's room to explain. They found him tearing down posters he created of his best friend Engineer. The two rushed in to stop Pyro from causing more damage to his room. Medic explained to Pyro that Engineer is sick and he needs him to help recover. After a tearful talk, Pyro realized his mistake and walked with Sniper and Medic back to the infirmary. When they get inside they see the Mining Light on the floor and Engineer's bed empty. Fearing that BLU team has taken him again the three sounded the alarm and searched the base for the BLU team and Engineer. After roughly 15 minutes, RED Scout was the one who found him. As he walking down one of the halls he saw RED Engineer, banging his head against a wall. Horrified, the Scout called for the rest of the team. Everyone showed up to see Engineer banging his head. It's Pyro who first got out to try and stop him. He grabbed Engineer and turned him away from the wall. Engineer's forehead was bloodied with a large gash mark running across it. Medic asked Pyro to lead Engineer back to the infirmary. <WILL BE CONTINUED LATER> hchfjxhjfjhfxhgjchgjchfcihfjchgcuhfcihcfuhcuf HAX HAX HAX HAGGGGGGIS GOAT BUTT