- ―A Vagineer hunting for its prey
Vagineers are a famous GMod Monster species that appears in many Gmod machinimas. They resemble an Engineer from Team Fortress 2, but his lower jaw has been stretched downward to the point of resembling a female's genitalia. The first Vagineer was created by YouTube user J16FOX2, but more species and variants have been created by other users, such as Mssnor, honorcrocketts, SarisKhan and Kugawattan.
Even if Vagineer is a very famous (if not even the most famous) Gmod Monster, he doesn't have an official theme song. A couple of people have tried to remedy this with varying degrees of success, but none are as yet officially recognized.
Vagineers are a mysterious variety of Engineer Monsters. They speak in "Vaginese", their own unique language that mostly consists of an Engineer's voice clips in reverse, with a few exceptions like "Gottam!", and they are typically ill mannered toward others. Most Vagineers often kill and devour their victims violently and horribly, but sometimes they are friendly and docile. Some have been known to lend a helping hand in times of need, but they are easily offended and do not take lightly to insults.
Vagineers are possibly from another universe entirely. They have been known to distort reality to their liking; often they use this ability to turn victims into "Vagi" versions of themselves, as seen in the cases of Scunt and VagiSpy. They have been known to interact with other Gmod Monsters, and have been able to summon creatures such as the Snyphurr. There is also a theory which says that the Vagineer is the result of a sort of virus or parasite called "Vagineerus Hamalus".
Some believe that Vagineers were created when a F2P RED Engineer on Goldrush was forced to listen to someone micspamming Justin Bieber's 'Baby'. Being a F2P without a mic, and lacking anyone helpful on the server, the Engie did not know how to mute a particular player. Prolonged exposure to the effeminate tones of Bieber causes increased estrogen production in whoever listens to them. This particular Engineer was affected by this in such a way that his mouth distorted into a vulvic shape. The flawed logic of the micspammer disrupted the Engie's reality, making him speak in reverse. This also gave him his unusual powers. The newly created Vagineer went insane, devouring the micspammer and everyone else on the server.
It is also possible that Vagineers were created as a direct result of Half-Life's Resonance Cascade. The dimensional rift created at Black Mesa affected the Team Fortress 2 Universe as well as Xen, but not in such a violent manner. The laws of physics and logic are much different in TF2 than Half-Life (much more than Xen), and the dimenional breach directly affected a group of unfortunate Engineers. The difference in physics and logic between the two universes caused a "Logical Reflux" that disrupted the Engineers' state of being, causing their mouths to stretch downwards and giving them their present powers and reversed speech.
The first Vagineer was originally a normal RED Engineer, when a Spy's Sapper was lodged in his "crotch". Then another Spy had to become an Engispy to save him, destroying the Sapper, but Engineer screamed so loud that his mouth ended up being stretched into a vulvic shape. The explosion also rendered him insane and gave him a craving for human flesh. Before long...
Vagineer was once a normal BLU Engineer. A RED Spy was holding the Engie hostage. The Spy did horribly queer things like this. It made Engie scream until his mouth was stretched to a vulvic shape.
-created by Black Ace and Scampi-
The newest theory is a long one and provides details into how they came to be and some of their abilities. So sit back and relax. This theory is so long it has its own page! So grab some Mad Milk, maybe a Dalokohs Bar and find a nice, warm place to sit! Come read the story right here!
The first Vagineer was a normal RED Engineer resting in 2fort. While resting, he saw Jarate Cake Dick and greeted him. Jarate Cake Dick proceeded to the Engie, following the Engineer saying that he doesn't look like a happy camper. JCD then quacked him. After he finished quacking the Engie he saw a BLU Medic picking up his Syringe Gun and went to quack him. The Engineer was later brought into a laboratory underneath 2fort by a RED Medic. He was disgusted by what Jarate Cake Dick did. He later injected the Engie with a serum. Suddenly, the Medic started screaming and blood was splattered on the walls. Then, the entire RED base exploded and the RED Engineer lifted off and landed on the ground. After looking up, his mouth was in a vulvic shape and he speaked reverse.
About 8 Years ago, A sociapathic Engineer with a powerful pistol was roaming across the TF2 Freak world in search for a challenge and wealth. Before his fate, he shot every BLU beta-style team on sight and headed for the intelligence room. Once he entered, he stumbled across a levitating, cursed australium inglot. Once attracted by it's eerie glow, Not aware of what's going to happen, He touches the inglot. He started to become dizzy and he gets a servere headach. A remaining member of the team attempts to backstab him but to no avail. Once the Engineer has grabbed his hand, something weird happens to his body. The Engineer crushes his hand, dismembering it, wondering what's happening to Him. Once outside, he starts screaming loudly and starts to shapeshift into Vagineer Zero. At 2Fort, Vagineer Zero started to go on a rampage in the RED base by killing every team on sight. After killing a RED beta style Medic, He confronts Painis Cupcake in the spawn room. Vagineer Zero wants to challenge Painis which the latter accepts right away. The deformed Engineer starts to attack Painis then all hell breaks loose. Painis Cupcake self-ubercharges and starts to battle the abomination by hand. Once Vagineer Zero is defeated by Painis Cupcake, He's devastated by his first failure. Once inside the BLU Intel room, He needs time to recover after his failed battle againsed Painis Cupcake. He starts to reveal that he didn't unlock his full potentiel yet, he starts to train, practise, and reveal his new abilities. After training, Vagineer Zero encounters a BLU Engineer transforming him into The Bugler Vagineer. At the spawn room entrance, he transforms a BLU Engineer into Mssnor. Vagineer Zero travels over the TF2 Freak world and shapeshifts every Engineer on sight, also Spies, Scouts, etc etc. This goes on until the cycle is over. Once the cycle's fully completed, Vagineer Zero hides somewhere in the freak world for years, thinking of a huge evil scheme still unkown.
Vagineers have been seen in many different varieties, some of which might be different species entirely. An attempt at an official description of all of them can be seen in "Vagineer: The Documentary"
- The RED Vagineer: A monster created by J16FOX2.The typical, bloodthirsty, and erratic variety. See The RED Vagineer.
- The BLU Vagineer: A monster created by retired user, Mssnor. Despite being less aggressive then the RED Vagineer, they are often shown as one of the strongest and most intelligent varieties, displaying dangerously powerful attacks and impressive agility. At least one has Snyphurr as his "minion" of sorts, whom he can summon with Doc Jarate's stolen Bugle. See The BLU Vagineer.
- The GRN Vagineer: A monster created by honorcrocketts. Highly offensive with his giant Fist but slow to attack. It's unkown if urine is a weakness to Vagineers. (In The Polite Spy part 5 his first appearance). another video with green vagineer in it
- The YLW Vagineer/Vagiminer: A monster created by honorcrocketts. This Vagineer uses a pickaxe and wears a BLU mining hat that shoots out plasma balls to paralyse or stick his victims to the ground. See The Yellow Vagineer.
- The PRL Vagineer: A monster created by Kugawattan. A venomous, purple-skinned, bug-footed mutant variety that envenomates its targets with its poisonous vomit. See the PRL Vagineer.
- ORG Vagineer: A monster created by SarisKhan. This variant is capable of firing lasers from its eyes, one is the main antagonist of The MSG Saga. See the ORG Vagineer.
- The BLK Vagineer/VagiNinja: A monster created by Cheetah1251. This is a nocturnal variant of the species that possesses impressive speed. See the BLK Vagineer.
- GRY Vagineer: A monster made by SarisKhan. This monster type is an uncommon type of Vagineers. For the time being, this species is under construction by their creator. It's ability is Deflexon. Able to deflect projectiles.
- PNK Vagineer: A monster made by PumpkinLordOLantern. This monster type is a rare species of Vagineers. There are capable of flight and the stock Vagineer abilities. Like the GRY Vagineers, they are still under development.
- Über Vagineer: A monster created by uknown1111. His appearnace is that of a Übercharged Vagineer with enlarged head and limbs. He can pounce like a Hunter. Unfortunately, his Übercharge doesn't give him invulnerability, nor he is durable. See the Über Vagineer.
- Mutant Vagineer: A monster created by ASpider25. It is a RED and GRN Übercharged Vagineer. Suprisngly, it is durable as a normal Engineer and does not posses any special abilities.However, these monsters are commanders of Infected Germedic's mutations, which makes them dangerous in fights. See the Mutant Vagineer.
- Terrorist Vagisoldier: A Monster created by BorMachine. They look like normal Vagisoldiers, despite lacking all of their abilities. In cost of their unnatural abilities, they wield various firearms. See the Terrorist Vagisoldier.
- Vagineer Bin Laden: A monster created by BorMachine. He appeared as a RED Vagineer without a hat. Like his subordinates the Terrorist Vagisoldiers, he lacked all Vagineer abilities. His current status is deceased, due to him being killed by BLU Heavy and BLU Engineer. See Vagineer Bin Laden.
- The Mastermind Vagineer (AKA The Necroborg Vagineer): A monster created by SarisKhan. A cybernetic Vagineer seen in The Quirky Adventures of Soldine the Cyborg, a TF2 Freak series created by YouTube user SarisKhan. See the Mastermind Vagineer.
- Vagiboss: A monster created by HalBuzzKill. A bigger and powerful version of the Vagineer that uses a Socket Wrench as his weapon. See The Vagiboss.
- The Gunslinger Vagineer: A monster created by VAGINEER. He was a hatless RED Vagineer that used a Gunslinger and was the protagonist of The Vagi Series. (Deceased) See the Gunslinger Vagineer.
- The Googly Eyed Vagineer: A monster created by retired Mssnor/BenderAKAUnder. These are subspecies that is comical, fun-loving and friendly but can give someone bad luck for the rest of their life by pointing his finger at the victim. Mssnor is one of these. See Mssnor(re-upload)
- The Goggle-less Vagineer/Vagistaregineer: A monster created by TheInvertedShadow.The most intelligent variety as well as the most dangerous and rarest. Oddly, it is also is the most friendly, having an uncanny desire to help others. See the Goggle-Less Vagineer.
- The Engina: A monster created by doctorheredoctor. A large, stationary, hive-minded Vagineer that inhabits desert regions, it usually preys on unfortunate Spies. See the Engina.
- The Scorpion Vagineer: A monster created by anboorgoor. A species that has venomous tails and serves the Engina. See the Scorpion Vagineer.
- VagiTrollgineer: A monster created by TheStormriven. He is commonly seen in the form of a normal RED or BLU Engineer that starts trolling like the Trolltizen when he reveals his true Vagineer form. His first appearence is in Engineer Describes Rarity.
- VagiKing: The leader of all Vagineers and also the most powerful variant. Many Vagineers worship him as their father, king, and god-rolled into one.
- Half-Vagineer: A form of Vagineer whose Vagina-mouth hasn't fully-developed yet. Though he can speak backwards, he lacks the ability to shoot off limbs and spit white liquid.
- VagiTrance: A monster created by jettan. This Vagineer that dances and hypnotizes his victims to dance. See The Dancing Vagineer.
- Scunt/VagiScout : A monster created by wadloperz. He is the "Vagi" version of Scout. See the Scunt.
- Ass Scuntcakes: The Vagi version of Ass Pancakes. He has his counterpart's and Weaselcake's abilities at his disposal. He was created by Swiff.
- Vagi Carnicakes: The Vagi version of Carnicakes. He lacks his original character's invulnerability heart.
- VagiHeavy: The "Vagi" version of Heavy created by toKs1c. Very powerful, but is incredibly dumb. See the Vagiheavy.
- VagiSpy: A monster created by Swaitis. He is the "Vagi" version of the Spy. A discreet but arrogant assassin utilizing the powers of both the Vagineer and the regular Spy. See the Vagispy
- VagiDemo: The "Vagi" version of the Demoman, usually very cheery and friendly, especially when intoxicated. He was created by OxiMedia. See the Vagidemo.
- VagiSoldier: The "Vagi" version of the Soldier. An clinically insane variant that shares many traits with Painis Cupcake. He was created by Swaitis. See the Vagisoldier.
- Vagi Painis Cupcake: The vagified version of Painis Cupcake. His abilities are mixed with those of Vagineer. He shares many traits with VagiSoldier. He was created by VAGINEER. See Vagi Painis Cupcake.
- Painis Vagicake: The infamous abomination created by HalBuzzKill. Vagineer was one of the donors who gave birth to Vagicake. See Painis Vagicake.
- VagiSniper: The "Vagi" version of the Sniper. An expert marksman with the ability to shoot Jarate from his mouth at deadly velocity. Also VagiSpy's rival. He was created by Andriykobin.See the Vagisniper.
- VagiMedic: The "Vagi" version of the Medic, often seen with a VagiHeavy. He was created by Andriykobin. See the Vagimedic.
- VagiPyro: A monster created by VAGINEER. He is the "Vagi" version of the Pyro, one notable example, a demonic creature in disguise, was defeated and killed by the Gunslinger Vagineer. See the Vagipyro.
- FemScunt: The female counterpart of Scunt. She was created by Mystery Ezekude. See the FemScunt.
- Arctikill: A FemScout monster created by Flaming Hammers. It is a BLU Alien femscout that has icy skin, has the Merc's Muffler and the Tough Stuff Muffs. She has a normal Vagineer's abilities mixed with ice spells. See Arctikill.
- VagiFemspy: The female counterpart of Vagispy. She was created by Mystery Ezekude. See the VagiFemspy.
- Scunt's Mom: The "Vagi" version of the Scout's Mother.
- Vagiministrator: The "Vagi" version of the Announcer/Administrator. She was created by CidTheNinja. See the Vagiministrator.
- Vagiton Hale: The "Vagi" version of Saxton Hale. He was created by Mister Mad. See Vagiton Hale.
- Vagisolgineer: The "Vagi" version of Solgineer.
- Vagisoldine: The "Vagi" version of Soldine.
- VagiCoach: The "Vagi" version of Coach.
- VagiEllis: The "Vagi" version of Ellis.
- VagiNick: The "Vagi" version of Nick.
- VagiRochelle: The "Vagi" version of Rochelle.
- VagiAya: The "Vagi" version of Aya Shameimaru from the Touhou Project series. Little is known about her, except she is capable of flight, due to the fact she's part Tengu, and is slightly perverted.
- VagiBelldandy: The "Vagi" version of Belldandy from Ah! My Goddess.
- VagiMiku: The 'Vagi' version of Miku Hatsune from Vocaloid.
- Vagibrine: A BLU Vagineer that wields a BLU recolored Equalizer (post-Pyromania Update) and has glowing WHT eyes. Anyone who looks at him is instantly targeted by Vagibrine. APPEARANCE NOT CONFIRMED. YET...
- VagiAmerica: The "Vagi" version of America (aka Alfred F. Jones) from Axis Powers Hetalia.
- VagiPony: Monsters created by AwesomeCasey795. A "Vagi" version of characters from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Each have their own Abilites and traits, some have vulvic mouth whilst others have completely distorted faces. They can be seen here. An informational documentary on them can also be seen here.
- Vemgineer: A monster created by MikotoNui. She is the female version of the Vagineer. This is her first appearance.
- Vagibot: A monster created by marcoDoctorwho. He is a Mann Vs. Machine robot version of Vagineer made by Gray Mann. He appeared the first time on the video Vagineer and Vagibot discuss about Hurr.
- Teamless Vagineer: A monster created by Scarifar1. He appeared as a hatless and shirtless Engineer with the Short Circuit. He was transported from another demension through a BLU Teleporter stoled by the RED team. When escaped,he went on rampage killing everyone he crosses paths with. Soon, he was found by a BLU Scout in koth_viaduct. It appeared that he attacked a team of RED mercs, brutally slaughtering them. However, he was heavily injured and reverted to normal. His last words were "I am free". After that he died. It's unknown if this Vagineer subspecies is rare or not. (Deceased) See the Teamless Vagineer.
- Beta Vagineer: A monster created by Sonicrulez11. He appears as a BLU beta Vagineer, usually friendly towards others unless he's provoked. It is presumed that he is an employee in Wal-Mart but He doesn't like his job in general. See the Beta Vagineer.
- The Bugler Vagineer: A monster made by CloverNoodle. He is the owner of the Snyphurr. See the Bugler Vagineer.
- Vagislenderneer: A monster created by mexican Lajos. He is the Vagineer equilvmant of Slender Man. See the Vagislenderneer.
- The Destructor Vagineer: A monster made by PumpkinLordOLantern. He is demonic abomination that kills anyone in his sight. He's also serves Pylich as a demonic disciple. See the Destructor Vagineer.
- The Evolved Vagineer: A monster made by shirosaki97. He is the antagonist of the MSG Saga. See the Evolved Vagineer.
- The Original Vagineer (AKA Vagineer Zero): A monster made by SarisKhan. He is one of the first (if not the first) Vagineers sighted. See the Original Vagineer.
- Sphai's Summoner: A monster made by retired SmartNoob89. His is the owner of Sphai. However, this Vagineer is considered an idiot. After his fight with Doc Jarate, both he and Sphai were reverted to human beings.
- Heavphurr's Summoner: A monster created by DOOM4Rus. He is the owner of Heavphurr. He summons him through pulling out a Quick-Fix out of thin air. He has the appearance of a BLU Vagimedic. See Heavphurr's Summoner.
- Scoutmomphurr's Summoner: A monster created by VitorHunter12. He is the owner of Scoutmomphurr. He summons her through screaming loudly, usually witnessed by nearby victims. He has possible friend relationships with the Bugler Vagineer. He appears as a BLU Vagispy. See Scoutmomphurr's Summoner.
- Vagitoilet: A monster made by the retired Youtube user, Szerbcommando. He is BLK Vagineer head which comes out from a toilet. Apparently, he is friends with some Gmod monsters as well. See the Vagitoilet.
- Vagiwarship: A monster made by Szerbcommando. He is a gigantic warship with a large Vagineer head. He is the ONLY freak that can carry living beings and inanimate objects in it.
- Odd Vagineer: A monster made by USAFMike. A Vagineer who speaks in both Vaginese and English. His limbs are awkwardly flipped around and his neck is slightly taller.
- Potatoneer's Vagineer Mode: A monster created by xXTrigantXx. This being is NOT a Vagineer himself, besides if Potatoneer is mortally wounded he enters his Vagineer mode, which turns him into a Vagineer for a short period of time. His mode was first seen in Othewordly Creatures(1)Potatoneer.
- The RED Evolved Vagineer: A monster made by Shirosaki97. He is the former appearance of the Evolved Vagineer. He looked like a Vagineer without a hat, but with an enlarged head instead.
- Radge Reenigav/The Vagineer Overlord: A monster created by Lt Colonel Summers. He is a BLK Engineer, who builts Vagibots. Appearantly, he can turn into a Vagineer himself.
Of course all of these variations aside from Engina have exceptions: some specimens that behave vastly different from their peers.
The character has many odd abilities at its disposal. As with faults, Vagineers' abilities vary from individual to individual.
- The ability to launch off limbs as grappling hooks or projectiles.
- The ability to regurgitate sticky, white fluid resembling whitewash or semen from its mouth.
- The ability to mutate a victim into a "Vagi"-faced variation like this.
- Limb regeneration.
- The Bugler possesses Doc Jarate's Bugle, allowing him to summon Snyphurr.
- Ear Rape growl, which make his victims' heads explode.
- High resistance to damage and effects of Gmod monster abilities.
- Some Vagineers - rare but not unheard of - can regenerate completely from a sufficient mass, similar to the liver. This could be considered parthenogenesis.
- Certain extremely rare types of vagineer are capable of replication through dismemberment; regenerating new bodies from large flesh-chunks. A vagineer of this type could be cut in half (both halves would regenerate bodies) and form two vagineers.
- There have been many instances of Vagineers enlarging their heads temporarily in order to ingest people or large objects in one gulp. They can also jump up and slam their enlarged head down on an enemy to crush them.
- Like Engineers, they are able to construct buildings, although they have a tendency to build them upside-down; also, they are more inclined to use Dispensers as thrown weapons rather than for healing.
- In the VSH mod, vagineer is able to self übercharge (Based on the rage meter filled by damage taken). In the Gmod reality, only a handfull of BLU vagineers are capable of this.
The faults and "weaknesses" of a Vagineer vary from individual to individual. Some may have close to none, others may be helplessly handicapped, but all of them share a common inability: they are not immune to detrimental effects caused by the active abilities of other GMod Monsters, such as Snyphurr's stone gaze (in the rare case that Snyphurr attacks Vagineer), the loud screams of Crazy Machine, Sewer Medic, Panis Cupcake and Assnick, the paranormal effects of Trolltizen's trollface, or the disabling psychic energy field that surrounds Pygas. The effects of these abilities are only temporary to a Vagineer (or last less time in the case of effects that are temporary as-is) but still serve their purpose. However, Gaypenis is the only character to destroy him except his ear rape attack. and the only way to stop him multiplying is killing the vagi parasite. too kill the parasite a character must put a grenade into a vagineer's mouth and then it goes into stomach and that kills it. Another possible way is to make it down to the vagineers stomach intact and kill it from the inside. This has been done in the past by CBS. as seen here finally getting the drop on a vagineer can help to fight it or damage it, but generally does not kill it. BLU Vagineer relies on Snyphurr most of the time, if Snyphurr confronts a more powerful freak and gets defeated, BLU Vagineer is left defenceless.
There is no official Vagineer theme as of now, but here are a couple contenders:
Although these themes are indeed used, many think that the most suiting vagineer theme would be the tf2 song "More Gun" playing backwards. It's also known as "Less Gun" for various reasons. "More Gun" Backwards Or "Less Gun"
- Haimalooo! (tuo me' evoM!)
- sey kceH!
- on kceH!
- epoN! (This aucally means "Nope")
- nocab 'nikam... eeeeeeeewooooooooH!
- yvarg maerC!
- eneri thgindoog, hO!
- yssis, ereh emoC!
- thgir t'nia tsuj tahT!
- yob, 'niyarp tratS!
- yrtnes ham 'nippas hapS!
- resnepsid ham 'nippas hapS!
- retropelet ham 'nippas hapS!
- resnepsid a 'nitcerE!
- Allef 'lil, detanimoD!
- nos, elttem ham tset t'noD!
- nos, ylurt srouy morf s'tahT!
- ylgu er'ouy ...gniht rehtona dnA!
- hctibavonos ay, naem enirevlow m'I!
- rettauqs a sekil ydoboN!
- ecaf diputs ruoy ffo thgir kool bmud taht wolb annog m'I, noS!
- krow fo eceip enif a saw ereht tahT!
- teg ay tahw s'tahT!
- ytrohs, nam a ekil ti ekaT!
- norom a fo eutats a 'nitcerE!
- In some videos featuring Vagineer and Painis Cupcake, they fight to death, but in other videos they become friends. They have even been shown "dating" on one occasion.
- Some videos feature more docile, even helpful Vagineers.
- If a Vagineer does not find food for 3 months, he will become a normal engineer again.
- In the Versus Saxton Hale Mod, Vagineer is one of the default monsters, along with Christian Brutal Sniper.
- Vagineers don't always kill or eat their victims. In one video, Engineer Hates Vagineer, a BLU Vagineer was implied to have been masturbating on a RED Engie's buildings.
- Sometimes when a Vagineer "dies", it drops a dispenser in its place.
- One BLU Vagineer is known as The Mountain Vagineer, It is a peaceful version that do not eat meat.
- In one Gmod video by Bormachine "Heavy Joins the Army", the RED Vagineer is seen as a terrorist leader known as Vagineer Bin Laden (Parody of Osama Bin Laden) and BLU Heavy and Engineer go to war to defeat him.
- In a video where a BLU Heavy chases baby versions of himself, a RED Vagineer guards a road that is closed and when Heavy comes up to the road, the Vagineer angrily shouts in Vaginese, "ROAD CLOSED, STOP NOW!"
- A RED Vagineer joined forces with Ellis in Adventures of Ellis.
- A BLU Vagineer works with Yellow Team and Rokiahi. He is defeated by Spider Unit.
- Engineer havin' a good time
- VAGINEER HAS SOMETHING TO SAY
- Everyone Says Vagineer
- PAINIS CUPCAKE MEET VAGINEER
- TF2 Freak Fight, Painis Cupcake VS Vagineer
- Vagineer is hungry
- Vagineer is hungry 2
- Vagineer is hungry 3
- Soldine vs. Vagineer
- VAGINEER APOCALYPSE
- Vagineer at ctf_turbine
- Rise Of The TF2 Monsters Part 1
- Rise Of The TF2 Monsters Part 2
- Vagineer and Engina
- Painis Cupcake's Revenge Part 3
- Adventures of Ellis
- Vagineer vs Justin Bieber
- The Day of Spider - WANTED: Japanese Recon (Part 2)
- Painis Cupcake And The Christmas Feast