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THE GOOD CAPTAIN

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DANGER: the captain is a god tier character and cannot be defeated by anyone. DON'T BREAK YOUR BACK! HAS BEEN DEFEATED BY RETROCHUG BUT RETROCHUG GOT DEFEATED AND MASK CAME IN OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE AND FUCKING KILLED OFF THE CAP WITH A HUGE FUCKING EXPLOSION.

THE CAPTAIN LIVES AGAIN - thanks to the efforts of the royal navy R&D team, the good captain's body parts were scooped up and sel-o-taped back together after they were found floating in the wreckage of where mask finished him off. Lets just say he is more wood than man now.

The Good Captain (otherwise referred to as just "The Captain" or on police records as "the dockside rapist") is captain of the submarine, "HMS shut up and pay attention" "HMS clusterfuck"

THECAPTAIN

"crisp winds, tide in our favour. pull hard to port lets roll this bitch"

This is the guy who ruined the naval play gamemode for everybody. He rules the seas of Garry's Mod and blows up and rapes anything that stands in his path. He also gets banned from all the Counter-Strike servers for having a shit ping because he plays from his submarine "so those pesky ISP landlubbers dont find me". Most importantly, The Good Captain must never be within 8 miles of children which is why he remains at sea.

No crew of the captain shall ever misbehave. for those who do recieve "4000 lashings of the cat of nine tails and a salt bath after ongoing an hour of stabbing from all angles."

BATTLE WITH RETROCHUG (outdated) Edit

The Captain is now deceased after fighting Retrochug in THE battle of heresy. After the Captain had been found for being responsible for letting an autism virus break out on the HMS Shut Up and Pay Attention, killing most of the cabin boys AND TRYING TO STEAL RETROCHUG'S ROCKET BOOTS. Retrochug and The Captain fought for a solid hour until Retro became too weak to continue and summoned Mask to crit hit the fuck out of The Captain and "BLEW HIM THE FUCK UP IN A BIG FUCKING EXPLOSION".

HMS Clusterfuck Edit

The revamped version of HMS shut up and pay attention, the clusterfuck is the same design but with minor improvements on the shoddy electrical wiring on deck F.

The Captain's trusty submarine that is sometimes referred to as "Bessie" for some reason. It is a gigantic subversive ship commissioned in the year 2007 by the royal navy with a concealed arsenal of weapons including:
20160621124921 1

the captain on board HMS shut up and pay attention

  • a wrecking ball
  • anti ballistic nukes
  • vulcan gun turrets
  • bear trap deployer
  • anti seagull S-mine launcher
  • drone deployer
  • sea mine deployer
  • emergency VPN tower
  • child abduction device
  • adult abduction device
  • that robot arm thing that throws lassos from wallace and gromit
  • cripple abduction device
  • giant robotic arm
  • long range laser cannon for short range problems (such as sniping someone from international waters so we dont get shit from it)

Despite the size and weight of the vessel, It is ballasted with nothing but spare copies of Dota 2. The Ship is so large and advanced, The Captain gets a week long ban for spawning it in on the Naval Play servers (WHICH IS FULL OF FUCKING NERDS WHO ARE TO SCARED TO GO TO THE ACTUAL SEA).

Quotes Edit

(read in the voice of Joshamee Gibbs in G major from pirates of the caribbean for extra laughs)

"YOU'VE BEEN WARNED ONCE OR TWICE BOY. THE CAPTAIN WILL DEAL WITH YOU TONIGHT."

"JETTISON THE BREAD ROOM"

"GET FUCKED ADMIN, GET ABSOLUTELY FUCKED YOU FUCKING NERD"

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