- "I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you."
- ―Painis Cupcake before eating a victim
Painis Cupcake (formerly Penis Cupcake) is a famous fictional character created by YouTube user RubberFruit.
He appears to be a RED Soldier from Team Fortress 2 who feeds on those who enter his home and moves with pump-action Shotgun cocking noises. His eyes, where on Soldiers are usually covered by their helmet, are always shown below it.
What is known about him is that he is not at all civilized and is beyond human. Upon confronting his prey he will honorably introduce himself as "I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you." Followed by an ominous and borderline disturbing smile. He will rarely say "Your painis is mine, do you understand that?". Painis will then proceed to rip his prey to shreds and then devour their remains, in which he usually does so successfully.
When a mysterious sneak-like music plays, this is an indication that he is around; while in pursuit of prey, the music will change into a chasing scene theme. These songs typically come from the soundtrack of Donkey Kong 64. His main musical theme is "Puzzles in the Caves" and his Attack theme is "Demon Resident Mine Cart".
Although he mostly hunts people down and when he finds someone he just eats them, there have been instances of him being friendly, especially when said person offers him something, like Kill Scout and Solgineer did - not to mention that Polite Spy made a friendship with him after telling him he did a "fine job murdering people". This means that Painis can be friendly to other TF2 monsters.
However, there has been an unusual event where he had made friends with the GMOD character Kami. This was due to her besting him in battle. This shows that Painis respects people who are stronger than him. Although when losing to Team Killer, another popular TF2 freak, he retreats and calls him scum.
Painis Cupcake has exhibited a wide variety of bizarre but strong powers, most of which have been used in battle. These include:
- Formidable strength, being able to grab someone and throw them at a wall, which will result in the victim detonating into pieces. His jaws can pierce flesh, bones and armor.
- Great defenses, able to resist powerful blows.
- A Self-Übercharge which significantly boosts his already superhuman attack and defense.
- Parthenogenic reproduction.
- Launching Shovels from his mouth at high speeds, which are capable of beheading. Usually very accurate.
- Hell Scream, a powerful and frightening sonic attack that is powerful enough can critically injure (if not kill) Snyphurr and send Vagineer blasting off and exploding.
- Manage to get more powerful if he survives to another monster.
- While his speed walking is the same as the average Soldier, Painis Cupcake can slide around the ground at great speed while making his characteristic shotgun-cocking noises.
Painis Cupcake's rather attention-garnering methods and obvious musical cues have made him an easy monster to avoid encountering altogether. If he is encountered, he can sometimes be evaded with sufficient effort due to having no abilities that can make him any faster or more agile than he always is, unless he decides to slide. He still has a tendency to find his prey eventually.
Apparently, when Painis Cupcake isn't on guard, his defense decreases significantly- Christian Brutal Sniper was able to cut his head off when Painis wasn't paying attention to him, but the victim CBS had tied. In addition, Dic Soupcan was also able to dismember him in soupcans thanks to Painis believing he had won after beheading him.
Very few have ever been able to defeat Painis; Seeman has been shown to have fared well against him at least once thanks to the help of his assistant Seeldier. As mentioned earlier, Dic Soupcan has effectively beaten him as well athough thanks to his surprise attack, and one of his known encounters are with Weaselcake who got electrocuted by him. These instances have resulted in Painis Cupcake seeking revenge.
And also according to this YouTube video named "Why Painis Cupcake never eats Medics" by Chasolk, it was revealed that Painis' Übercharger can be destroyed by either knifing him in the stomach which disables his Self-Über, or draining his strength with an Übersaw, making him vulnerable and easy to kill temporarily. Howewer, due to his regenerative and accurate Shovel launching powers, Medic threats are easily eliminated. This weakness is unnofficial and it hasn't been confirmed.
Painis Cupcake once got effortlessly defeated by Kolossal Kirov. Even Painis got Self-Übered, Kirov simply punched him back to his lair. This might prove "primitive" monsters are another of Painis Cupcake's weaknesses.
Painis Cupcake is also weak against Kami, who was able to drain Painis' Übercharge by grabbing onto him and giving it to herself. She then kicked Painis across 2Fort. Painis later returned and said "You were good Kami, real good, maybe even the best. I will not eat you." He then befriended her and they ate sandviches together.
If someone turns off his main theme, he will freeze and not do anything. It is unknown how to unfreeze him.
OriginEditPainis Cupcake is a Fictional character who likes to eat people
Painis Cupcake FootageEdit
Exclusive footage of Painis Cupcake. You might want to turn up your volume because the video is quiet for some reason.
Throughout his life, Painis found allies and enemies alike:
- Rubberfruit (creator)
- Ainum (sister)
- Ainis Cupcake (brother)
- Painis Pancake (son)
- Ainis Cupcake's wife (sister-in-law)
- Ainis Cupcake's son (nephew)
- Painis Men (possible relatives)
- BLU Vagineer and Snyphurr
- Dic Soupcan
- Seeman and Seeldier
- Christian Brutal Sniper
- Mentlegen Pie
- Demopan and Impostor Painis Cupcake
- Captain Demoman
- Dirty Renamon
- Dangerous Bacon
- Nuclear Scout
- Painis Botcake
- Crack Cupcake
- Kolossal Kirov
- The Spectre
- Kami (Formerly)
- Piss Cakehole (Formerly)
Possibly due to his parthenogenic reproduction abilities, there have been multiple versions of Painis Cupcake. Many of them simply wear different attire, although some have mutated grotesquely, and others are characters with a similar origin, as well as alot of monsters that act similar, but take the form of other TF2 classes. These include:
- Painis Cupcake's twin brother, Ainis Cupcake, who wears a BLU uniform instead of a RED one.He was created by MrSuicideDoor.
- Painis Cupcake's twin sister,Ainum Sister,who wears a BLU uniform instead of a RED one.He/She was created by solidpat221.
- Painis Fruitcake: The embodiment of Painis' holiday spirit.He was created by PrawnBoy101.
- Robot Painis Cupcake: A cyber-version of Painis Cupcake.He was created by CloverNoodle.
- Spai-nis Cupcake:A Painis Cupcake/Spy hybrid created by TrexHunter2000.He was first seen in Spai-nis Cupcake tries to eat someone.
- The Painis Men:These freaks were created by Peusterokos1.They are a mysterious group of Painises who can self-replicate upon injury. It is unknown wether or not they are Painis's kin or his subordinates.
- SoupCock PorkPie:A moster created by UntouchedShadovv.He is a Demoman who violently glues people to walls with their own blood and pulpified body parts.
- Painis Pancake:A moster created by GuardianStriker.He is Painis Cupcake's son. A RED Scout.
- Painis Vagicake: A moster created by HalBuzzKill.He is very similar but exponentially more powerful monster. Painis Cupcake was one of the three genetic "donors" that gave birth to Vagicake.
- Mutant Painis Cupcake: A monster created by CloverNoodle. A more dangerous variant of himself. Mutant Painis Cupcake possess heightened powers of his original form. Whenever Mutant Painis Cupcake is near, a red glow falls upon the area he's in. His voice has also changed to a more demonic-like tone, the sound of him moving is of bones cracking instead of the usual shotgun pumping sounds and his theme and attack music have also been changed to more dark and terrifying songs (such as Giygas' theme from Earthbound). In some cases, he's known to let out an evil laugh before attacking his prey. Before he devours his victim(s), he recites his quote "I AM MUTANT PAINIS CUPCAKE!!! I WILL EAT YOU!!!" his eyes then go completely blank and proceeds on with the slaughter, even more gruesome than before. How Painis Cupcake got mutated in the first place is currently unknown.
- Monster Painis Cupcake:A monster created by ASpider25.He is a robot-like version of the normal Painis.How he was created,is unknown.His current status is deceased,due that he was demolished by Rokiahi in the video Rokiahi vs. Monster Painis Cupcake.
- Painis Archiecake: A geek version of Painis that only kill characters from the Archie comic series.
- Painis Touhoucake: Like Painis Archiecake, but kills and eats Touhou Project characters instead.
- Painis Bronycake: Like the previous two, but kills and eats characters from "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" instead.
- Chinpoko Wonton: A Chinese Painis that takes the form of the Rocket from Final Combat.
- Cupcake Painis: A "reverse" form of Painis that forces people to swallow him whole. Once he is swallowed, he causes his victim to inflate and explode.
- Painis Jasoncake: A non-canon version of painis that temporarily entered Jason Voorhees´ corpse during laboratory tests, he could´t eat people as he had a Hockey Mask and didnt know how to retrive it.
- Mannis Cupcake: A gay version of Painis that only eats men. Because of that, he completely ignores women and leaves them alone.
- Ass Pancakes: A monster created by TheInvertedShadow.He is a BLU Scout who smashes people with a rainbowy hammer.
- I m pancakes:A similarly canniballistic Scout who is notable for his improper build.His creator is Dinner111.
- Pootis Sandvich: A Painis in Heavy form.He was created by Eliteboy2e7.
- Pinkis Cupcake:A monster made by Mystery Ezekude.She is a pony version of the Painis. Is friends with Molestia and possibly Eppaljeck. Also has an alternate form with its own themes.
- Anus Painis: A GRN version of Painis that just says "anus".
- Painis Cup of Tea: A more civilized version of Painis that drinks tea.
- Scaosh:A monster created by IWaWorl.He is a reverse Painis Cupcake in Scout form.
- Mentlegen Pie:A monster created by DougVF1.He is a Spy version of Painis. However, he tends to gut his victims instead of eat them.
- Dangerous Painis Man: A Heavy version of Painis.He was created by Stormtrooper0II.
- Maggot Cupcake: A "Worms" version of Painis.
- Bonk Pancakes: A monster created by MrGameAnalyst.He is a similarly insane Scout who often travels alone, trying to regain his memory and slaughtering anyone in his way.X
- Porkgineer: A monster created by OmegaMario89.He is a BLU Engineer that "porks" his victims and has Painis' Self-Übercharge ability.
- Piss Cakehole: A monster created by JT90INTHEHOUSE.He is a Sniper version of Painis that carves his victims with a Bonesaw.
- Painis Cake: A polite BLU version of Painis.He was created by Zelcface.
- Painis Charger : An "Evolution" of the original Painis, like the Charger from Left 4 Dead 2, this Painis possess a great physical power and uses it to charge the enemy or punch them away.
- Painis Vegicake: A vegetarian version of Painis that does not eat people. However, that does not stop him from brutally killing them anyway.
- Beautyis Cupcake: The female equivalent of Painis.
- Leather Cupcake: A BLK form of Painis that dual-wields a pair of Half-Zatoichis. Behaves a lot like Christian Brutal Sniper. He also seems to be immortal of some sorts and therefore cannot be killed.
- Painis Babycake: An infant Painis Cupcake. Surprisingly powerful for his age and size.
- Painis Botcake: A Mann vs. Machine robot version of Painis Cupcake built by Gray Mann,abut demolished (and eaten) by the original Painis in the video he starred in. See "Painis Cupcake meets Painis Botcake" for more.He was created by marcoDoctorwho.
- Painis Pills: The Louis version of Painis Cupcake.He was created by JChristopher17.
- Crack Cupcake: A stoned version of Painis Cupcake. HWM with a Dr's Dapper Topper who smokes a crack pipe.He was created by ugotaphonenumber.
- Dragh Vundabar:A monster created by Flaming Hammers.He is BLU Medic that ,,hurts people with his saws.However,he doesn't harm BLUs.
- Cawlf Sharden:A monster created by Swiff.He is a RED Medic that ,,murders people with his saws.He is a fusion of Painis Cupcake and Piss Cakehole.
- Fatman Topshelf:A monster created by TheAmazingKoldKutz.He is fat RED Spy that has Knives for hands.
- Friendly Scout:A monster created by AboAbdulable.He is a BLU Scout serial killer that acts absolutely opposite of friendly.
- Genital Food:A monster created by HappyHappyCultist.He is a BLU Spy who is an assasin.For time being,he is well hidden.
- Infected Germedic:A monster created by ASpider25.He is a RED/GRN Übercharged Medic mutant that infects people to become mutations(Deceased)
- Intoxicated Soldier and Maggot Gear:Monsters created by GFrietzmen.They are a hatless RED Soldier and a bunch of glued together gibs which have very awkward abilities.
- Jarate Cake Dick:A monster created by treboruk92.He is a RED Sniper that prefers to rape his victims instead of eating them.
- Madic:A monster created by SarisKhan.He is a BLU Medic who injected himself with unknown chemicals.For now,he's thrown into the prison.
- Moodic:A monster created by SpeedyLizard14 and adopted by RawrNinjaBurgers.He is a RED Medic abomination which goal is cause havoc and disaster.He shares many traits with Rabic,another RED Medic abomination.
- Mutated Burger:A monster created by ASpider25.He is RED/GRN Soldier monstrosity with the Voodoo-Cursed Soldier Soul.
- New Weapon:A monster created by EthioMod.He is a RED Heavy cannibal and the RED Engineer's personal butcher.His face deformed from the right side.He is also known as Brutal Heavy and Heavy Dent.
- Popin Dumbell:A monster created by Kekas vas Normandy.Not much is known about him,the only known is that he is a RED Spy with a RED laser Heavy for a weapon.
- Rabic:A monster created by Lemurfot.He is a RED Medic abomination with Max's Severed Head.As said earlier,he shares many traits with Moodic.
- Robot Cupcake:A monster created by AboAbdulable.He is a hatless RED Soldier whose attitude can be discribed as psychotic.
- Soiled Diaper Station:A monster created by xXTrigantXx.He is a BLU Heavy with a RED Magnificent Mongolian.Suprisingly,Soiled Diaper Station prefers to sing with people,instead of killing them.By the way,he is considered stupid.
- Soljah:A monster created by SarisKhan.He is a bizarre BLU beta Soldier that is free-lanced and idiotic.He eats Half-Life 2 leeches as his food.
- Spencer Pootis:A monster created by Courroux29.He is a RED Heavy who has the Horrific Headsplitter stuck into his head.His is an numerous butcher,being able to defeat Painis Cupcake with little effort.
- XanderKage:A monster created by AdmiralTrainstorm.He is a RED Medic with a Bill's Hat and a Courve Coroner.He is a rogue,securing people and control points.
- Flying Scout of the Desert:A monster created by MirthfulSandwich.He is a RED Scout who has the capability of flight.
- Shcoutt:A monster created by someone else but me tina jasonleader(boy) and harry Newson(boy)has make it for sure.He is a RED Scout that can turn into any inanimate object.He seeks revenge on Painis.
- Dick Sandvich:A monster created by AJMZXFC.He is a BLU Heavy that has a Tough Guy's Toque and bears a Medic's Blutsauger as a weapon.
- Sawmedic:A monster created by Redbull12347.He is BLU Medic serial killer,whose hand is replaced by a Bonesaw.
- Knivehand:A monster created by HalBuzzKill.He is RED Spy cyborg which hand is replaced with Knives.His superior goal is to guard his team's intelligence.
- Dic Soupcan:A monster created by metabug.He is a standard RED Demoman who is always seen drunk.He is Painis's ultimate rival.
- Sewer Medic:A monster created by gb7zone7.He is an amphibious Medic creature that excibits every CTF map.He has appeared in both BLU and RED.
- Heavydile:A monster created by TrexHunter2000.He is an amphibious RED Heavy cannibal,who resembles a crocodile.He is Sewer Medic's potential rival.
- Chesse Scout:A monster created by AdmiralTrainstorm.He is a RED Scout cannibal that has an anthic clock on his head.
- I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you.
- You cannot hurt me! I am Painis Cupcake!
- Your painis is mine, do you understand that!
- I will eat your painis! Do you understand that?
- Painis in the anus!
- I will eat your painis
- If God had wanted you to live then he wouldn't have created ME!
- I am going to claw my way down your throat and eat your very painis!
- Num, num, num, num, num. (eating)
- You're sweet like cupcakes are sweet!
- Ribs sweet!
- I will eat them up!
- I will eat your nuts.
- You were good son, maybe even the best.